I know, I know, you’re tired of hearing about Pokemon Go. We’ve all heard about the problems of Pokemon Go: car accidents, pedestrians suddenly stopping right in front of you, and people falling off of cliffs in search of that elusive Pikachu. Pokemon Go is like the Backstreet Boys of the 90s, you either love it or hate it. My husband and I have become shameless Pokemon Go players. One of the things I love about this game is our constant motivation to get off our couch and try new things. This game has helped us get out of our Netflix rut and into something that strengthens our relationship.
If you took a Psychology class in college you might have heard about Sternberg’s triangle theory of love. The three points of the triangle are intimacy (friendship), passion, and commitment. When you combine different points of the triangle, you come up with 7 different kids of love. The typical course of love goes like this:
You meet your significant other and the beginnings of intimacy develop. You share laughs, smiles, common interests, and you begin to like each other (the top of the triangle). As your relationship progresses you add passion to your intimacy and find yourself infatuated with your partner (bottom left). Your significant other grows in significance until they occupy your every thought. Friendship and physical intimacy grow and you want to shout your love from the roof tops. This is it! I’ve found the one! You become convinced that love conquers all and make plans to spend the rest of your life together. That’s when commitment comes in (bottom right) . You can’t imagine a time when you won’t have the consummate love that has enriched your life. But then life happens. Children, financial problems, in-law conflicts, illnesses, and other life stresses begin to take their toll on your once indestructible relationship. Physical intimacy and passion move to the back burner, pushed aside by work obligations, family conflicts, and daily fatigue. Your love moves from consummate love to companionate love, love grounded in commitment and friendship. This is not a bad thing. Love is fluid and adaptive to your life circumstances. Your flame of love that once felt like a bonfire has simmered down to the type of flame you roast marshmallows on. Warm, cozy, and comfortable. The problem is, if you don’t kindle the fire, the flame will extinguish. That’s called empty love. Love that exists only in the embers of your commitment.
So what does Pokemon Go have to do with any of this? Pokemon Go can help you kindle your fire in 3 ways:
Of course, if Pokemon Go doesn’t light your fire, that’s okay. You can take these 3 principles and find other ways to bring the spark back into your relationship. Do whatever works best for you!
If you’d like a little extra help relighting your fire give me a call at (702)-751-0540 to schedule an appointment!